continued, sort of

Oh so, I don’t think I was finished when I published that post yesterday..being pregnant, you lose your train of thought constantly and most often than not are at a loss for words and suffer brain farts. The second time around it isn’t so bad though but still – it ain’t normal!

Anyway, back to finances..earning what I earn now is still remarkable for someone who was in my former situation. Which in recent media news – isn’t all that extraordinary. When I first moved here to the Bay area back when I was like 20 years old – I started working as a barista at a coffee/roaster place near the financial district. I got the job thru a friend who knew my situation. I was able to survive off minimum wage and tips and live in a decent apartment renting a room AND still be able to go to school and go out of course – oh and go shopping.

I survived living paycheck to paycheck and yes still do now and with the economy as it stands I’m not sure if I will ever get to the point where I am not living paycheck to paycheck. Even though I make 3 times more than I ever made 10 years ago – I still have to survive living paycheck to paycheck. I check craigslist ads now and then to see if there is anything close to my field and there are but in this economy – I would rather have job security than 20K+ more in my pocket only to get laid off after a few months. Frankly, I would like to earn more degrees or certificates in the Green sector. But I don’t have the time or the money to pursue that right now. This job/career of mine isn’t exactly something I wanted to do in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I do like my job and the industry but it’s not what I went to school for and it’s not what I most desire to do. If anything, I’ve always wanted an art related job. But it has been too long since I have worked in that industry. I used to do art restoration and conservation. I used to paint and draw. I dabble here and there doing freelance work in graphic design and web design – which is something I kind of want to pursue seriously, but can’t because that would mean not having any money (for awhile until I get a client list going) and no stability.

I know that if the economy wasn’t as bad as it is – I would have probably received a raise or bonuses like I have had in the past. I don’t know..I guess I’m just feeling stagnant. I’ve been at this job for almost 6 years – the longest I have ever been at a job, ever. One of the things that hold me back is also coming from my old situation but that’s not me anymore – I have no restrictions (well, sort of) and so can go to find a job in another state if I wanted to. But again, job security….and half of me feels like I’ve learned too many bad habits here at my work that If I went to work somewhere else I would just stumble and fall and get fired. But that’s just my fears talking again.